School has started here for most kids and seeing my neighbors start high school is crazy. To me they seem so young and little even though some of them are taller than me. Except, being taller than me is not hard to do. As I look back I remember wondering how I would feel about not going back to school when it started. Well, I am not sad about it but I am feeling exactly as I knew I would feel. The feeling of, what the f*** am I going to do with my life now?
Who am I? Dont worry I know my name but I never really knew who I am. As I look in the mirror I never liked what I saw. Okay, that’s the worse example ever because I never liked my looks. Yeah thats right, if I was rich I would go get surgery to become the perfect puppet of our culture. Anyways, I could do it like in the movies and just drive or go away until I find myself but their is no guarantee that will work. Maybe I could do a math problem to figure it out but who am I kidding? I hate math so that wouldnt work. There has to be more to me besides my name.
Do I have a purpose? With all the chances I have been given in this world there must be one. I use to think everyone had a purpose but I am not sure. There are so many people without one in this world. People who wander around like zombies. I guess they havent found one yet or they have given up on looking. I will find my purpose or purposes somehow someway. Its really about making your purpose.
Where do I start? Starting is the biggest challenge. Its hard to know where exactly to start but is there really a wrong place to start? Starting anywhere seems better than starting nowhere. Exploring is always an idea. Finding where I belong. Where I will shine. Where my heart is.
Can I do this? Wouldnt it be great if I could say yes with confidence but all I can say is I think so. I will definitely try. I am unstoppable once I can do something.
Am I ready? I am ready to live but not ready for life.
So, it may take me longer than a lot to get my grips on life but I will slowly get there. I got the car which will help me get out there and explore. Just gotta build my motivation, self esteem and confidence. Have to find out whats out there for a unique gal like me. I have to create myself. Once I am created, world watch out!